BY TERRI WAGNER
Paragraph development is a tricky affair. How many of you took speech class in college? I ask because that’s the same MO as terrific paragraph development. Staying focused on what your paragraph is supposed to convey. Easy? Should be. But reality tells us no, people tend to chase rabbits.
What the heck is shifting focus anyway? (Find more info here.)
Let’s say you want to set the scene or paragraph about a specific football game, my favorite being college. (And yes I’m in mourning over the Alabama loss). Start by making a list of things you would need to know about a specific game: for example, names of teams involved (don’t muddy the water with other games, other teams), specific time period or the whole game (keep in mind it’s probably one or two plays that shifted the momentum to the winner), the names/numbers of the involved players (depends on the focus here), temperature (only if it was a contributing factor), etc.
Using our example above, ask yourself what is the focus? What do I want to say? Why would this be important to my novel, article, review? Stop for a minute and re-read what I just wrote.
Is this necessary? Does it have a place in your piece? And, if so, what place? The answers to these questions help you to decide if this paragraph (or scene) is helpful. If you were writing a crime novel, would a specific college game have anything to do with it? Does your character learn something from it to use later or is it a red herring? You have to know the answers to this before you consider continuing.
Now, write your paragraph and then consider this. Have you shifted focus by adding in things not needed but that sounded good? In other words, if I went off on a rant about the Crimson Tide being the national champions for the past two years, would that have anything to do with a specific game or play in my paragraph. Does add or detract? Am I actually chasing a rabbit?
When I took speech in college, my professor was a tyrant about focus. Sometimes you think it’s a nice little throw in when in fact it is a detractor. So let’s see if I can “show” you instead of “telling” you.
Paragraph: I had a bad feeling about this play. It’s the end of the game. Alabama has too much on the line. I mean, we are talking chance for a national championship, possible Heisman trophy winner, SEC championship game. This counts. And besides, it’s our rival. The big one, the one that means something around here for the next 364 days. Our special kicking team lines up. This is far, really far—I mean miracle far here. Shouldn’t we just spike it and go into overtime? Oh no! He kicked. I can’t see through my fingers, but I can hear the absolute silence. Then screams of noooooooo! What???? Can you do that? Snatch the ball in the end zone on a kick and run it back for a winning touchdown? Gone . . . all our dreams for our awesome seniors. The ones we will miss next year. And another decade of Kick Bama Kick. I am in mourning.
Let’s say my review is on miracle last second wins. What was rabbit chasing? Did it matter who the teams were? Did it matter what was on the line? Did I chase so much that the actual event was boring? Why did it matter if I had my face covered?
In comments, tell me how you would have written it from a proper perspective. And all condolences will be appreciated.
Terri Wagner works, writes, edits, and cheers the Crimson Tide from her home in Alabama. Her latest project, Mr. Gunn & Dr. Bohemia by Pete Ford, was released in October, 2013.
