I live in one of the hottest deserts in North America. As we approach July, I think it’s fair to say it’s hot outside. But if I was to describe my surroundings in a piece of literature, I would do myself and my readers a great disservice by simply stating: “It’s hot.”
When describing anything—people, scenery, experiences, food, objects—there are some very important tips to remember.
Consider your audience.
If you were writing science fiction, and needed to describe a rocket, if your audience was primarily NASA engineers, then, by all means, describe it using techy language, measurement specs, and lots of acronyms. Otherwise, you had better make it relatable to a normal, sub-human being. The only way descriptions will register with a reader’s emotions (which is where we want everything in our writing to register), is to connect something unfamiliar to them to something that is.
I love the way Homer H. Hickman describes how rockets work in Rocket Boys:
“Although he hadn’t found a rocket book, Quentin had finally found the physics book he’d read in the library in Welch that defined Newton’s third law of action and reaction. The example given in the book was a balloon that flew around the room when its neck was opened. The air inside the balloon was under pressure, and as it flowed out of the opening (action), the balloon was propelled forward (reaction). A rocket, then, was sort of a hard balloon.”
This description appeals to just about every person who has ever tinkered with a balloon. It’s visual and even reminiscent, conjuring up happy times of watching a balloon fly around a room making the sound of orally imitated flatulence.
Appeal to the senses.
Utilizing descriptive phrases which include all the senses will aid in connecting to your reader. Studies have shown that while reading about descriptive tastes, such as the tart sweetness of Sour Patch Kids, salivary glands are activated. While reading about smells, such as the scent of campfire smoke, the olfactory region of the brain is activated. The same can be said about visual, tactile, and auditory sensations. Try to confuse your reader’s brains as much as possible by leading them to believe they are actually sampling your words with their senses.
When first descending into the valley of Rivendell, J.R.R. Tolkien uses several senses to describe what the heroes experience:
“Here it is at last” [Gandolf] called, and the others gathered round him and looked over the edge. They saw a valley far below. They could hear the voice of hurrying water in a rocky bed at the bottom; the scent of trees was in the air; and there was a light on the valley-side across the water. Bilbo never forgot the way they slithered and slipped in the dusk down the steep zig-zag path into the secret valley of Rivendell. The air grew warmer as they got lower, and the smell of the pine trees made him drowsy, so that every now and again he nodded and nearly fell off, or bumped his nose on the pony’s neck.”
Give description purpose.
This tip is twofold. First, get to the point. Don’t spend a great amount of time describing something, and definitely don’t use a plethora of modifiers, adjectives, etc. Be specific.
Second, and more importantly, don’t insult your reader by providing pointless information about a person, object, or experience. Give it meaning. Give it context. Why do they need to know that the hero wears his hair long and has a muscular build unless he actually uses those muscles to save mankind on a daily basis? Who cares if the heroine is slender, beautiful, and graceful unless it plays into the fact that she is actually an Oompa Loompa and will never fit in with her people?
What do your character’s features do for them? What can you describe about a room that does more than world-build? Can you evoke emotion within the character when they walk into the room? Do they see something that dredges up memories? Does the smell remind them of someone?
Don’t just describe, describe with intent.
So, in other words, it’s not just hot outside. The air, which oddly reminds me of bisque firing newly formed pottery, instantly coats your lungs with dry heat when you step outside. It fills your nostrils with dust despite its refusal to offer a single, merciful breeze. As the sun reaches its apex in the sky, nothing moves. Birds conserve energy, lizards retreat into the shadow, and insects hide in wait until evening approaches.
What does this do for me? It allows me to avoid frying my hands on a steering wheel or seat belt clips, and forces me to write a blog post on a summer afternoon.
What will you write today?
Senior Editor McKenna Gardner lives, writes, edits, and sizzles in her home in Arizona. Her latest project, A Dash of Madness: A Thriller Anthology, will be released on July 31, 2013.
